Flip-off already, bloodsuckers!

It's a teacher workday today which means the demolition duo is home for 3 days straight and they're already fightin' over the computer and I haven't had a vacation in well over a year now so Lord, help me!

I also have absolutely no good ideas for a post today.  Nuttin'.  So since I haven't joined in on Friday Flip-Offs in forever and ever and it's now being hosted by Momma Kiss and today is her birthday, I think I'll join her and flip a few things off!  






  

First off I'd like to give a big fat flip-off to the nasty little blood sucking mosquitoes that the Darling wiener dogs let in when they pushed the back door open yesterday afternoon. I'm gonna teach those two little dachsies to close that door behind them some way, somehow, someday!  I don't know what in the h-e double hockey sticks it is that makes my blood sooo scrumptious to those little blood thirsty demons or why in the name of all that is holy they are still out in full force at the end of October!!!!  But FLIPPITY FLIP FLIP FLIP OFF! 

And I'd also like to extend that Flip-Off to the droves of disgusting little nasty flies that have also so rudely invited themselves up in my house here lately.  If y'all happen to catch either of my two posts that mentioned the stench in the air 'round my neighborhood over the past few weeks then you can probably guess where the flies originated but in the spirit of being neighborly I will no longer beat that dead horse....ahem.  and just so you know, I love all animals, including horses, so I would never really ever beat one, alive or dead. 

Next up I'd like to say flip-off to all the grocery/retail stores in my area that evidently made the decision to NOT offer the limited edition pumpkin pie Pop-tarts that I've heard so much about.  All I wanted was a taste...a little taste!  But Noooo!!!   I couldn't get my mouth on one because NOBODY around here sells them! 

And finally, I feel I must give a huge flip-off to that Maura Kelly chick over at Marie Claire for writing that article where she lashed out at overweight people by calling them fatties and all that other crap she said that I'm not going to repeat again here.   Yes, she did follow up with an apology so I'll give her that but COME ON!  That article was pretty harsh and hurt a lot of amazingly awesome and accomplished women who struggle with their weight.  Bad, bad, bad!!!  I REALLY hope you learned your lesson, Ms. Kelly, cause that was straight up wrong!

And that concludes this edition of Flip-Off Friday. 

Hope y'all have a wicked Halloween.  Now hop on over and wish Momma Kiss a Happy Birthday!

    

The good witch

I could not get enough of Bewitched re-runs when I was a kid.  I was in awe of Samantha Stephens with her magical nose and I wanted those powers for myself, darn it!  I wanted to be her more than anything.  More even than I wanted to be a  Solid Gold Dancer.  And that is saying A LOT.

I would practice trying to wiggle my nose and can remember thinking that if only I could learn to do that, then the magic was mine!  

Through a child's eyes, I didn't see that she was married to a man whose self-confidence and manhood were threatened by this amazing, independent witchy woman he was married to.  I was always confused as to why Darrin (both of them!) did not want her to, and demanded that she not, use her powers.   Ever. 

Hello???

He was one of those men of that time who felt that a woman's place was in the home, cooking and cleaning and taking care of the kids.  She wouldn't be needing those magical powers anymore.  Not now that she was married and all. 




As a kid I just didn't have the wisdom or insight to get this.  It always confused me.  Did he not see how this could benefit him?  Why would he want her to hide this awesome nose twitching magic?  It bothered me when they were in a pickle that she could easily fix with one little twitch of the nose but opted not to use her power. 

I would be sitting on the floor in front of that giant floor model television with the 5 channels shouting at the screen....just wiggle your nose, Samantha!  Why don't you just wiggle your nose?  Please wiggle your nose!!! 

And, if you ever watched the show at all you know that she often did sneak around behind Darrin's back a time or two...okay, A LOT! 

I loved it when her mother, Endora, showed up although I did find her more than a little frightening, because you knew when mama showed up there was gonna be trouble and it was coming in the form of a magic show.  She was the mother-in-law from hell that every man has nightmares of.  

But Samantha always stuck to her guns and Mama Endora would eventually leave and things would go back to normal. At least as far as Darrin Stephens knew.  He had no idea that wife of his was really running the show because she always allowed him to believe he was. 

I didn't understand this as a child but looking back on it I see that Samantha Stephens was one smart little witch who was having her cake and eatin' it too by living the mortal suburban family life she always dreamed about as a little girl witch while continuing to work her magic all the while.  

 And she did it all for love because although Darrin was threatened by the powers, he clearly adored that woman, just as much as she adored him. 

This post was written in repsonse to Mama Kat's writing prompt number 1.) A book (or tv show … or something) that you watched/loved as a kid, that you see through entirely different eyes as an adult/mom.

WW: Fame is a bee

Fame is a bee.

It has a song --

It has a sting --

Ah, too, it has a wing!

~Emily Dickinson




If looks could kill, I wouldn't be here now...

 

Happy Hallowiener!

Linking up for Wordful/Wordless Wednesday with

  Alicia at A Beautiful Mess,

Amanda at Parenting BY Dummies

and Kristi at Live and Love...Out Loud

 

Did she just say levitate?

Is it just me or is it like 10 times harder to work out at home than at the gym?

Because I just did two back to back workouts on Fit tv and I think I may need an ambulance. 

It's Monday.  It's raining.  I was feeling extra lazy.  So I bargained with myself until I came to the decision to opt out of getting myself presentable and making the 20 minute drive to pilates class. 

"Let's see what's on Fit tv."  I said to myself.  "Oh goody!"  Shape Up is coming on now, followed by Core Max and then Stretch Max. "I'll do all three! It'll be a piece of cake!"

I was swearing at the t.v. about halfway through Core Max.  Okay that was a lie.  I was swearing during the first exercise of Core Max.  Needless to say, I did not make it to Stretch Max.  I collapsed into a heap and hit "record" as soon as the credits started rolling on Core Max.

 I first started working out when I was in high school after buying a Jane Fonda book, complete with illustrations of perky, perfectly fit, smiley Jane in her leotard and legwarmers and have belonged to countless gyms over the years so I'm pretty familiar with most exercises you throw at me and thought I had done, or at least attempted to do, most all of them at some point in my life. 

But never, NEVER, had I seen or attempted the levitation move that this crazy Fit tv chick did today.  She sat in the crossed leg position and lifted her entire lower body up off the floor with her arms and repeated about 15 times.  And made it look easy as pie. 

WHAT THA?!  Levitate?  Did she just say LEVITATE?!  Freak!

NOT an easy move for a woman with long, lanky arms and a big ole booty.  In fact, it was impossible.  The arms would.not.lift.the.booty. 

I did finish the workout but not without a lot of whining.  I would never whine like that at the gym...God, I'm burning up!...You want me to do THAT?  BaHaHaHaaa!   Oww....Lady, you're INSANE!   Are you TRYING to kill me?!

It also didn't help that there was a big comfy couch right there in front of me,  or two wiener dogs jumping and climbing all over me and licking me in the face and a laptop and a blackberry calling my name from across the room.

My living room is where I'm supposed to watch too much junk t.v.while facebooking, blogging,drooling over cute shoes on zappos and playing Free cell on the laptop relax, be myself and spend time with my family.  It should not be a room associated with sweat, torture and impossible levitation exercises. 

Speaking of junk t.v., I paused on Fear Factor the other day.  I didn't even know that crap show still came on but there it was...two couples were transferring big giant hissing cockroaches from one container to another.... via their mouths.  And all for a shot at 25 thousand dollars. 

25 thousand dollars. I wouldn't put a moldy pop-tart in my mouth for that.  Okay...maybe I would but definitely NOT a hissing cockroach!  No way.  No how.  Nooo.  

Then I was watching Amazing Race last night and they were eating a roasted sheep head and the one girl was a vegetarian and had not eaten meat in over 20 years. 

Yet she gobbled down that head like it was nothing more than a garden salad while mumbling under her breath...mind over matter...mind over matter...it's just a cucumber...that's all...just  a cucumber...  The "cucumber" she was pretending to eat was actually an eyeball.  A flippin' eyeball! 

Maybe I should try that mind over matter thing the next time I don't want to go to the gym in the rain and find myself in the living room in front of the t.v., trying to levitate my butt off the floor! 

   

  

Saturday Six

with Boobies Babies and A Blog  and  The Zombie Housewife.

How many hours per night/day do you sleep?

I probably average about 7 hours a night though I really need way more than that.  I don't know why I can't make myself go to bed earlier.  I can easily sleep a stretch of 12 hours if given the opportunity.

Night owl or morning person?

Well, definitely not a morning person but I am not one to stay up all night either.  I NEED my sleep or I'm no good.  I've never been mistaken for a morning person in my life.  No matter how long I sleep, I always wake up feeling groggy and have to drag myself out of bed and have been known to bump into walls on many, many mornings. I always head straight for the coffee pot!

What do you wear to bed?

Usually some comfy pj's and my night guard that fits on my two upper front teeth to prevent me from grinding my teeth in my sleep.  It makes me look like Bugs Bunny and causes me to have dreams that my front teeth are falling out.  Sexy, I know!   

Sleep crutches? (Sleep with a radio, fan, t.v. on? Have to have something particular in order to doze?)

I have to have a glass of water by the bed because I usually wake up thirsty several times a night.  And my two wiener dogs...gotta have my doggies.  This is why we have a king sized bed now. 

Do you remember your dreams when you wake up?

Sometimes I do and sometimes I don't remember a thing.  I have really crazy whacked out dreams often...like last night I had a dream that I was riding my bike down a highway which is insane because number 1,  it is rare that I ride a bike and number 2, I HATE when people ride their bikes on the highway because it's just dangerous and stupid and I'm always afraid I'm going to accidentally hit one of them with my car.

Any strange stories about sleepwalking/talking or anything of that nature?

I can't think of anything strange I've done but my two boys both have histories of night terrors (which, if you've never witnessed you are blessed because that is some stressful, disturbing stuff right there!), sleep walking and talking in their sleep.  My oldest sometimes gets up and walks around all over the house like he's looking for something (dead asleep).  I always find it amazing that he knows to step over things when he's doing this.  It's really freaky. 

No diggity

I'm 39.  I don't lie about my age or get why anyone would want to.  I like to think I'm a young 39
because most of the time I don't feel like I'm ALMOST 40.  That just doesn't even seem possible. 

That in 6 months time, I.will.be.40. 4 dash 0! 

I just don't feel it. (or at least what I thought this age would feel like) most of the time.

But there are moments, usually those courtesy of my kids, when the realization hits me and I start to
feel like my age is sneaking up on me. 

Like this morning, on the drive to school...

Dev: (flipping radio stations)

Me: "Whoa!  Why would you turn THAT song?  I thought you would like that song!" 

the radio:  I like the way you work it ~ No diggity~ I got to bag it up~

Dev:  "Are you serious?" 

Me: singing (badly)..."I like the way you WORK IT!" 

Dev :" Is this what kind of rap y'all listened to?  This is like from the 50's!"

Me:  (with my mouth agape)  "First of all, I'm not sure this would qualify as rap and this is NOT from

the 50's! They did not have rap music in the 50's either!  You wanna hear some 50's?  Cause I can

play you some 50's music but THIS IS NOTHING LIKE 50's MUSIC!  TRUST ME!  This is like late

90's, maybe even early 2000's"

Dev:  "Whatever! ughh....it's awful!"  

Turns out it was from 1996.  I had to google it when I got home.  That is another thing that makes me

feel old(er)....thinking something was just a few years ago, only to find out it was like 15 years ago,

or 20 years ago!

Some other things that make me feel old my age:

{Not understanding the lingo.} 

 What used to be cool or awesome is now ballin or beast or sick.

  me:  "huh?...who got sick at the game?"

dev:  "ugghh....No, mom!  I said that was a sick catch he made!"

me:  "huh?"

***

{The fact that more and more doctors are looking like 16 year olds to me}

Cause you know and I know that there are not that many real life Doogie Howser's walking around

in the world so that means these doctors who look 16 to me have to be at a minimum, 26., probably

older.  Which could only mean one thing... 

I look older than 26. 

 And that, my friends, is a major bubble burster.

 

***

{Catching myself saying things like "when I was your age..." or   "ohhh, my back!"}

wth?

***  

{Getting all curmudgeonish when I'm at a stoplight and the person in  the car

behind me has his music so loud my windshield is rattling}

me: Ah, come on!  I've already got a splitting headache, dude!  How RUDE!

He's gonna go deaf before he's 30!

***

{Saying things like, "that girl needs to put some clothes on!....what must her parents think?"

when I see a 22 year old showing way too much skin for a Wednesday afternoon at the mall.}

On the flip side: 

{I am sometimes that annoying person at the stoplight with the music way too loud}

the difference is my music ROCKS!

okay, maybe not to anyone under the age of 30 but still...it makes me feel young!

***

{I know what "mom" jeans are and I would never be caught dead in a pair}

***

{I can still ride a bike, do a shoulder stand, and chase and catch a crazy squirrel obsessed wiener

dog over the creek and through the woods and live to tell about it.}

...though maybe not all at the same time.

***

{I can still get my groove on and shake my booty with the best of 'em}

~I like the way you work it!  work it! ~

~No Diggity!~

  

More About Me

As one of Mama Kat's prompts this week, she asked us to write or spruce up our ABOUT ME page and since all I had was a tiny little about me paragraph, I took the challenge:

More About Me

Hi. I'm Diane. Welcome to my little blog. "Be still a minute!" is simply an order I've been barking at my two boys a.k.a. the demolition duo since they were in the womb.

Their biological dad, my first husband, Darin, died in an accident on December 26, 2003. Dev was 4 years old and the Dracenator was 5 months old at the time.

Grief sucks and is by far the fiercest monster I've ever gone up against. But, by the grace of God, the love and support of an amazing family and a few precious friends, I kicked its ass and I'm darned proud of it.

I found my now husband, Charlie, on Yahoo (yes, I'm serious!...you can find anything on the internet if you put enough hours into it) in December of 2006 and married him in June of 2008.

In addition to Dev and the Dracenator and Charlie's 2 grown sons and one almost grown daughter, we have two longhaired Dachshunds we adopted from a dachshund rescue in 2009. They were given their Andy Griffith Show character names, Brisco and Charlene Darling, by their foster family, but I mostly call them Big Boy and Li'l Bit or The Darling Wieners.

I have a crazy obsession with wiener dogs that I blame on Dixie Dog, a stubborn little longhaired wiener who was in my life for 14 years before she died in 2009. As God as my witness, I will never be without more than one wiener in my life at a time again.

We love wiener jokes around here. I've been a mom of ALL BOY boys for 11 years now so I finally decided that "if I couldn't beat 'em, I'd join 'em!" Except for the peeing in inappropriate places outside thing. I know my limitations.

I once took an online personality test that told me I have a calming effect on those around me and that I have some mad staying power in relationships. I've also been told I can be hard to get to know at times.

Maybe that's true though I don't mean to be. Once I do get to know you and love you, you are pretty much stuck with me for life.

But don't be afraid, cause I don't mean that in a crazy, psycho stalker way. I promise.

So if you ever get the notion to be still a minute again, come on back and say hi. I love me some comments almost as much as I love wieners. Okay, maybe not that much but still...you get the idea.

Are you gonna eat that?

I sat my happy little tired butt down in my folding chair at  Dev's 7:30 baseball game last night, that we had to rush across town to get to when the Dracenator's 6 o'clock soccer game was over.

I was cold and more than a little bit grumpy from being rushed around and then I realized I hadn't eaten since lunch and I was famished.

So I asked my sweet l'il Dracenator if he'd bring me a hamburger, "all the way", from the concession stand. And since he has this mad obsession with all things concession stand, he jumped happily at the opportunity. 

Now if you're not from this part of North Carolina, and I didn't grow up here (born a Georgia girl)  so I was 15 before I discovered it myself and it was years before I really appreciated the art of the North Carolina "all the way'" burger...But anyway, like I was saying...if  "you ain't from around here", you are not familiar with the deliciousness of this big, messy burger covered in slaw and chili.

 Just trust me...I know it sounds disgusting but once you get past the looks of it, it is a party in your mouth!

So here I am, cold and starving, and unwrapping this yummy, tasty, to die for, local delicacy when this little boy munchkin I've never before laid eyes upon gets all up in my business, looks down at my burger, then dead up into my eyes, with all the seriousness he could muster and says (in his outdoor voice!),

"YOU'RE EATIN' ANOTHER BURGER!?"

Umm...Wh-Wha- What?  This is my FIRST ONE!  I just got here! 

"Oh" he says like he doesn't buy this for one second.  

Did you maybe mistake me for someone else, little guy? 

"Yeah."   (but he's still looking at me all suspicious- like, like he still doesn't believe me)

Who is this kid?

The junk food patrol?

The spokesperson for the beef cattle of America trying to ban beef consumption?  

Or was he representing my conscience who was already whispering,

"you know you shouldn't be eating that...it's bad...very bad for you...not to mention all the fat and calories that aren't going to make you very happy the next time you try to squeeze that butt of yours into those skinny jeans." 

Whatever!

I shut that conscience and that little buzz- killing munchkin right out of my mind and ate every delicious morsel of that scrumptious thing.

And Dev's team won the game to boot.

So take that, conscience munchkin!





     

Should I change my name?

And don't forget to visit That One Mom at Only Parent Chronicles for more Post It Note Tuesday!

Why?

Why is there a common expression, working like a dog and why do I use it? My dogs and most other dogs I've ever known are not bringing home paychecks or lifting a paw to help out around the house. Now loafing like a dog? That I could buy.

Why won't my 11 year old boy wear some sort of jacket, sweatshirt or hoodie to school in the mornings when it is 40 something degrees outside? Yeah, it's supposed to warm up to the upper 70s this afternoon but it's flippin' COLD now! Is it cool to freeze your A off?!  And am I a bad mother for giving up the fight and saying whatever, if you wanna pretend you aren't cold, go ahead and freeze your little butt off!?

Why do we say sleeping like a baby? Whoever started this one had clearly not met my baby number 2, the Dracenator, cause I swear I didn't get an uninterrupted night's sleep until that boy was 2 years old. He didn't believe in sleep.

Why did my neighbor think it was perfectly okay to fertilize his yard with human waste compost? It's the most disgusting thing I've ever smelled in my life! We can't open the windows or spend any time outside without gagging and the flies are coming in in droves. I'm trying to be an active participant in loving thy neighbor but dude, come on! 

Why do so many retailers think late September/early October is the perfect time to start putting out Christmas stuff and why does it infuriate me so much?  It turns me into the Grinch and I don't appreciate it. 

Why did the writers of Desperate Housewives seem to forget that Gabby and Carlos had another daughter besides Juanita?  There used to be a younger daughter too, did there not?  Did she run away?  Did they give her away?  Do they keep her in her room 24 hours a day?  Where is that girl?  Enquiring minds really want need to know!

Why does Spongebob live in a pineapple?  I mean, I'm no marine biologist but I'm pretty sure pineapples don't typically grow under the sea. 

Why did my husband and apparently many others, according to Google, think that John Cougar Mellencamp's song Pink Houses says I remember when you could starve a flower?  Cause to me, personally, starve a flower sounds absolutely nothing like stop a clock. 

Why do we not question someone's sanity when they say a little bird told me?  Cause you know we totally would if someone said a little frog told me or a little squirrel told me.

Why am I still on the computer pretending I don't have 6 loads of laundry, unmade beds and a dirty kitchen all calling my name?

Why did I say those inanimate objects are calling my name because if they really were calling my name I'd be out of this house so fast your head would spin?

And why do we say things like your head would spin because the only time I ever saw a head spinning was on The Exorcist and I haven't been able to watch a scary movie since. (I just googled Exorcist in google images and there is no way on God's beautiful green earth I'm gonna be able to post one of those pics on my blog.  I'm probably gonna have nightmares tonight....Why did I do that?)

Why don't y'all have a great day but don't take any wooden nickels and try not to ask why too much?  ;-) 

8 answers to 8 questions

One of my newest bloggy friends, E. at Whining at the World, has tagged me with 8 questions to answer.  I was supposed to answer them and then make up 8 more questions and tag 8 people to answer those.  

I'm cheating a little bit.  I'm answering the questions but I'm slacking on the other part.  If you'd like to answer the questions yourself though, feel free.  I thought they were pretty creative and fun-to-answer questions.


1. How do you / will you know when you are all grown up?
I have moments all the time when I still do not feel completely grown up.  I still like to lick the bowl and ride the merry-go-round and my closet usually looks like it belongs to a teenage girl with all the clothing items all over the floor most of the time.  But I guess becoming a mother made me finally say, "Hey, I'm really a grown up now...Look at me.  I'm a MOTHER with a real live BABY!  Whoa!"  It changed my whole perspective on life...I feel much less invincible than I did before because I have two other little lives depending on mine.

 2. As a child what did you want to be when you grew up and are you doing it?
Oh Lord, I wanted more than anything to be a Solid Gold Dancer.  I LOVED to dance and every weekend my stepsister and I would put on our "disco" pajamas and get our boogie on with SOLID GOLD.  Needless to say, that dream was not fulfilled but I still love to dance and I get my fix at Zumba each week.

3. You could have an entire day 24 hours to do whatever you wanted (no expense spared). So what would you do?
Oh, this is a tough one because there are sooo many things I could choose here but in all honesty, I think I would spend it with my family and all the people I care about and have everyone get along and just enjoy each other's company. Maybe a picnic in the mountains or a day at the lake. 

4. Someone invents a new cocktail and they want to name it after you. What are the main ingredients?
Hmm...Well, when I do drink it's normally red wine but there are some vodka cocktails I like so there would probably be some vodka in it, maybe something kinda sweet and fruity and then something on the sour side to balance things out. 

5. How many blogs are you currently following or subscribed to? I have no idea!  I am constantly finding new blogs that I am so impressed with.  There's a lot of talent out here in blogland.   


6. Why did you start blogging and is the reason you started still relevant? I have just always found it so much easier to express myself through writing than speaking so I thought, "hey, why don't I start a blog!" and so I did. In the beginning (7 months ago) I had no idea how to find other blogs I was interested in nor did I ever really think that people who didn't actually know me and love me would ever read my blog. It was a whole new world to me and I LOVE it!   

7. What is your favorite item of clothing?
Hmm...tough question.  I like to get dressed up but since my life contains way more casual events and moments than those that require dressing up, I can mostly be found in jeans or capris and t-shirts.  I do LOVE my boots though, especially my red ones!

 8. If you had to give up blogging or chocolate what would you choose? Is it a hard choice?
Ohh...this question is just plain WRONG, I tell you!  Blogging or Chocolate?!  Chocolate is an old love...we go waaay back and blogging is still a relatively new found love in my life but I NEED them both!  Blogging is a daily love while chocolate is a "once a week or so" kind of love so I guess if you held me down and forced me to choose, I'd give up chocolate over blogging.  And obviously this was beyond a hard choice! 
 

Boys

“Some parents say it is toy guns that make boys warlike. But give a boy a rubber duck and he will seize its neck like the butt of a pistol and shout "Bang!" ~George F. Will 

When I was a kid I loved to color and draw.  I may not have ever been the best artist in the world but it made me really happy.

What did I draw? 

I drew a lot of birds and rainbows, animals, smiling faces, houses with picket fences and flowers. You know?  Happy, cheerful things.

So you can imagine my surprise the first time my eldest boy came to me with his prized drawing in his hand, all proud and beaming from ear to ear and saying,

 "Look, Mommy!  Look what I drew!"

I was horrified and more than a little disturbed by the guns, and bloody knives that the stick men in the drawing were sporting. 

"WHAT THA? Devin, why would you?  What? ...  I mean...what in the world would possess you to draw such awful, horrible things?"  was not the response my little guy was shooting for (pun intended).

Nor was he expecting the interrogation and "is everything okay with you?" conversation that followed.

I have long since gotten past the shock factor of such drawings.  My youngest draws the same kinds of things.  He presented me with one tonight on his dry erase board.  He was so ecstatic about this drawing that I just HAD to come right that minute to see it!

It was yet another gun and knife picture.  And this is my boy who loves babies and taking care of animals and plants and wants to be a vet when he grows up. 

Oh, Dracen.  I said.  Such an angry picture. Why don't you draw something happy?  But no shock.  No interrogation. I've been here. done this. many, many times now.

Devin overhears me and wants to know what it was he drew. I tell him and he says,

"All boys draw things like that." 

Ahhh....Yes.  Yes, I know.

Boys like to draw weapons and tell wiener jokes. 

They drink directly from the gallon milk jug or orange juice carton when I'm not looking and they think farting is the most hysterical thing imaginable.

Wrestling and horseplay are their preferred methods of communication and there is nothing in this world better than peeing outside.

They don't understand why I want them to take a bath when they just had one 2 (or was it 3?) days ago and they can make a weapon or a fort out of anything from a plastic coat hanger to a cardboard box and a dish towel.

They see absolutely nothing wrong with wearing that favorite dirty shirt covered in orange cheetoh residue out of the hamper or those favorite stained up shorts with the huge rip in the crotch....to church.

I always thought I'd have a little girl because I was, after all, a girly girl myself.  Loved my dolls, and shoes, and shopping and baking and gossiping with my friends.  I knew how to french braid and put together cute little outfits, complete with accessories.

When I got older, little girls loved me, were drawn to me. My first niece was born when I was 13 and I now have several of them and even a baby girl great niece too.  I know how to buy "little girl" gifts that are guaranteed to be a hit at any girl party. 

So when God gave me not only one, but two little boys, part of me wondered why.  I always knew I would have just two children.  I just didn't know they'd both be boys.

But you know what?  I wouldn't trade my crazy, sometimes chaotic, testosterone- overloaded life for anything.  Nothing.

Oh, I still love little girls.  I mean, after all, I was one.

But God knew what I was cut out for long before I ever did. 

I am a mom of two ALL BOY boys and although I sometimes don't understand them and I often times get stark raving furious with them, they have taught me the art of laughing at myself, to sometimes be okay with getting a little dirty for the sake of fun and that red dirt is almost next to impossible to get completely out of white ball pants.

And I love those two little Y chromosomes with every single ounce and fiber of my being. 

My mother-in-law, Pat (who also had two boys), said to me when I found out I was having Boy number 2,

There's just something special about saying,

A boy is a magical creature-you can lock him out of your workshop,
but you can't lock him out of your heart  ~Allan Beck

"Come on, Boys...Let's go!"

And Thank God, she was so right. 

So what about you? 

What unexpected, never saw it coming, blessings has God placed in your life?

 

How I see me

Would you describe yourself as sunglasses, reading glasses or scuba goggles?

That is the question I was asked in front of the entire congregation at church this past Sunday. 

It was Children's Sunday so the kids were in charge of conducting the entire service, with a little help and guidance of course. 

I was given a little heads up by my sis-in-law when I walked in that I would be asked that question and then Dray, my 7 year old, was going to read a couple of sentences about what makes us each special and unique in our own ways, which I am happy to report he actually followed through with.  Whoop!  Whoop!

He did not, however, participate in the singing bit complete with hand and arm movements.  He spent that time hiding behind his older friend who was also "too cool" to be seen doing THAT while I held my breath, puckered my butt, and prayed with all I had in me that he would not knock the candles, that he was ever so dangerously close to, over or catch his hair or clothes on fire.  

Anyway, back to the question.

I had a good 20 minutes or so to ponder my response.  Scuba goggles?!  Umm....Definitely Not. 

I flipped back and forth between reading glasses and sunglasses.  Am I reading glasses or sunglasses?  Sunglasses or reading glasses?  Hmm...tough one. 

I can see myself as sunglasses because, aside from the obvious fact that I am almost always wearing them in the presence of the sun, I have been told on many separate occasions that I am not the easiest person to read or to get to know.   

This is not something I'm proud of or something that I particularly like about myself.  It is just a fact that I am aware of and that I do spend time trying to improve, to a degree.  I mean, I don't ever want to compromise who I am but I also don't want to appear cold or aloof  because that is so very far from the real truth. 

I pay close attention to everything and everyone around me most of the time and I am frequently complimenting people in my head.  I just sometimes forget to actually speak the compliment aloud. 

Terrible, I know.

I once told Charlie that he looked good in the color shirt he was wearing.  He smiled really big and thanked me and then proceeded to tell me that it's not often that I pay compliments.  I thought about that for a moment, and then said,

 Hmm...really?  Well, I think them.

So sunglasses made a good argument.  I could see that.  I could.

But in the end, I went with reading glasses. 

Why?

Because of the whole observation thing that my mind is constantly churning over.  I have always had a pretty keen sense about people.  I suppose you could call it good intuition but whatever it is, mine has seldom failed me. 

I get a tightening in my tummy when I can sense that someone is irritated or upset about something, especially if I feel it is directed toward me but even when it's not and I'm just in their presence.  They may outwardly appear as if everything is all perfectly hunky dory fine but in my gut I know better and it usually always comes out in the end. 

I love surprises (well, the good kind anyway) and yet, it is next to impossible to surprise me. 

I read people and situations and books and articles and blog posts.

It's what I'm good at.

It's what I love. 

It's who I am.

So while most would probably view me as sunglasses, I know in my heart,

I am reading glasses.

red ones...

This post was inspired by Mama Kat's writing prompt number  4. Share a photo that represents how you see yourself.

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