My name is Diane and I was an 80s fashion victim

I was reading an online article this morning entitled 10 things a man should know about a woman's brain.

One of them was that she goes through adolescence twice.

Come again? 

Apparently, being perimenopausal is a lot like being a hormonal, crazed, moody teenage girl again. 

Oh goodie!  I am so much looking forward to that stage again since it was such a barrel of monkeys fun the first time around.  The average age for this awesome phase to start? 43.  Which means I only have about 4 more years of sanity left.

And that sanity is already being tested on a daily basis, compliments of the demolition duo. 

The oldest member of the duo started buttering me up Wednesday morning before school.  "Can we go to the mall this afternoon?"  And after a brief interrogation, cause that boy is not known for his good communication skills, I was able to conclude that he was interested in some new shoes. 

Now, I love me some shoes and I love shopping for shoes and clothes as much as the next girl but taking those two little Y chromosomes shopping for anything is nothing to be getting excited about. 

Luckily, I had back up cause C. was kind enough to ride along with us.  

Did y'all know that neon is all the rage in athletic footwear?  I had a flashback of 1984  when neon green, pink, yellow and orange oversized sweatshirts were all the rage.   My teenage self styled and profiled in that yellow neon sweatshirt, silver shoes and accessories and that "oh so sexy" banana clip.

Every time I turn around these days, I am seeing some "new" fashion trend from the 80s that I just have no desire to revisit.  I will admit that the neon shoes are not that bad but there are MANY 80s fashion catastrophes I will NEVER participate in again.

Here are a few that come to mind:

The Members Only Jacket

I found this at Nordstrom.  NORDSTROM!  Really?  I never really understood the whole "Members Only" concept back when I was wearing it. I just wore it because all my friends were wearing it and it was the cool thing to do. What were we members of?  The Fashion Victim Club?  Just, no thank you.  My members only ship sailed many years ago.

Stretchy Stirrup Pants (well, ANY kind of stirrup pants, really!)

Nobody looked good in those things!  WTH were we thinking? I recall a royal blue pair I had and shamedly admit that I wore them with an oversized horizontal striped sweater and heels.  Heels, people!  I wore stirrup pants with Heels!   Don't ever go there.  Just don't.

The Romper

Oh dear God, I am reminded of one of the most humiliating days of my life and M is totally going to kill me for even bringing this up but I feel I must.  It was 1986.  We were both the new kids of our 10th grade class (the misery that bonded us into a lifetime friendship). 

We had gone shopping over the weekend and made the lame headed joint decision to purchase matching rompers in a lovely shade of peach that we then both wore to school on Monday morning. 

Yes. I am serious.  10th grade, y'all.  We did this in the 10th grade.  Way old enough to know better. Nobody over the age of 3 should be wearing a romper, and especially NOT in pairs.  I thought that day would never, ever end or the relentless teasing that followed for weeks afterward.

I think we were known as "The Bobbsey Twins" for the rest of our sophomore year.  Fun times.

 Oversized hair bows.  That romper story gets worse cause not only did we wear our sexy matching rompers on the same day but we also wore our identical oversized hairbow, also in a lovely shade of peach, to match.   Oh Yeah!

  
I'm blaming it on the temporary adolescent-induced insanity that I now know I must survive again in a few years.  

I told y'all God has a sense of humor!