Confessions

One of the writing prompts at Mama's Losin' It  this week was to spill some confessions.

So I decided to do it.

Now don't go gettin' too excited on me though because this is no Barbara Walters special and I'm not about to go airing my deepest darkest secrets out here for God and everybody to read and possibly use as blackmail against me someday. 

God already knows them all anyway and some things are just better left in the closet.  Ahem.

What I am going to do is make a list of things that I am confessing to willing to admit that I have either believed, said or done at some point in my life, as they come to me and in no particular order...

1. When I was a very young child, I recall having this odd, warped belief that milk came from these...

And I have absolutely no idea where that idea came from but I still think of that to this day every time I see those things.

got milk?

2. I was an absolute terror for my mother to deal with in the mornings when I was in elementary school. I can recall giving her h-e double hockey sticks  when she would wake me up and while getting ready for school and demanding that she wanting her to fix my hair a different way every morning while screaming and pitching a fit because it hurt when she tried to brush the tangles out. 

I'm still a wreck in the mornings but I have learned how to control myself and keep the biotch in the box. on most days, anyway.  The Dracenator is paying me back though because he seems to have, unfortunately, inherited the Morning Bear curse from me.

3.  I still cringe at this memory but one year in high school, the French Club decided I was a good candidate for the school beauty pageant and nominated me...Shy, introverted, often awkward in social situations, ME!

I actually surprised even myself and ended up in the top 10.  But, guess what happens when you're in the top 10?  THEY ASK YOU A QUESTION THAT YOU ARE THEN REQUIRED TO ANSWER IN FRONT OF THE JUDGES AND ENTIRE AUDIENCE! 

My worst nightmare had come true.  They asked me the question.  I stood staring out at the audience like a possum at the headlights on a Pinto and froze.  And... Nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilcho. crickets.

I finally mumbled the words..."thank you" and walked off the stage with my head hung low.  Needless to say, I didn't win that one and never participated in a pageant again. 

4. Although I registered to vote when I was 18, I didn't hit the polls for the first time until I was 31. 

5.  When I was a teenager I loved those comfy panties called Love-Pats and had them in all different colors. 

They were pretty much the only kind I owned until my friends noticed them a time or two when we were getting dressed to go out and informed me that I was wearing GRANNY PANTIES!

I had never even heard the term before.  To this day, I won't be caught dead in a pair.



6. I can't go for more than 45 minutes (and that's pushin' it) without checking the crackberry.  I'm in serious need of a 12 step program over here.

7.  When I was 21, 18 years ago, my God that makes me sound old!  I got so sick on tequila that I can barely stand the smell of it still today.

8.   When my friends and I used to go out dancing, I would sometimes pretend to be all mysterious and tell everyone my name was Monique and I may or may not have worn tie dyed clothing from head to toe and John Lennon-style sunglasses. At night. 

 

9. I have lied and forced myself to cry, in order to get out of a ticket.  It worked. twice. I was in my early twenties both times.  

The last time I got pulled over for speeding, I was 6 months pregnant, had my Wendy's chicken sandwich in the passenger seat beside me and was in a hurry to get home so I could scarf it down like a wolf sit down and eat it in peace. 

I was doing 60 in a 45 and not one, but two Barney Fifes felt the need to pull in behind me giving the impression that they'd just found a 10 pound bag of dope and a body in my trunk. 

I was so infuriated and hormonal that I knew if I spoke, I was goin' to the pokie so I never opened it. once.  Just took my ticket and cussed like a sailor all the way home.  

10.  I've been known to cry at Pixar movies. But doesn't everybody?

So there ya have it.  The confessions I'm willing to spill on the wordwide web today. 

What are yours?

I know you want to tell me.