Unexpected Blessing

Tomorrow, March 4th, will be the one year anniversary of this blog, or as it is commonly referred to here in the blogosphere, blogoversary. One whole year since I wrote my very first Be Still A Minute post.

I am not exactly sure what gave me the idea to start a blog since I didn't follow any other blogs or know anyone else who kept a blog.  It was just a spur of the moment, let's throw some words out here and see how it goes kind of thing. 

At first I thought I'd just write about my experience with grief  in hopes that maybe someone suffering through it would read something I wrote and be helped or inspired by it, or at least just feel that they weren't alone and that there is still so much life and happiness on the other side of the storm. 

It did not take long, however, for me to realize that I really wanted to write about so much more.  This quickly became a place for me to vent my parenting frustrations and triumphs, along with just day to day life stuff that amuses, inspires, bewilders or awes me. 

I eventually ventured out and started finding other blogs to read, follow, and comment on.  I was overwhelmed with the never ending blogs written by such talented women who constantly amaze me with their writing,  photography,  decorating,  designing,  and cooking skills.


They make me laugh, cry, or just shake my head and say "Amen, sister!" on a daily basis. Just visit a few of the blogs in my blogroll and you'll see what I mean.
 
What began as an attempt for me to inspire others, has resulted in a daily dose of inspiration for me. Not only am I inspired by all of these other women, but sometimes by my own words as well. 

I have come to this blog many times, not having any idea what I was going to write about and ended up in tears or just a state of sheer satisfaction by the words that somehow, by the work of my own mind and hands, appeared on the page before me.

It, of course, doesn't always happen this way.  There have only been a handful of posts I have felt this way about and those few have all come from a place deep within my soul, from a place I don't often leave the door open to.    

Clicking on that "publish post" button is not something I take lightly.  I read over and over what I've written at least 3 times usually before I decide it is suitable for another pair of eyes to view.

My only regret is that I didn't start a blog sooner, when the boys were smaller and when I was actively grieving because I would love to have those archives at my fingertips, not only for nostalgic reasons but to see how far I've come from those dark days of grief.

I know my days of writing about the daily adventures of those two now are dangerously limited because it's just a matter of time before they discover that "Omg, mama has a blog and we're in it!"    Devin already asks every time I try to snap a shot of him, "You're not planning on putting this on facebook, are you?!" 

And my answer is always the same, "Why yes, yes, I am because you're my son and I'm your mother and it is my God given right to show off pictures of you any ol' time I want and one day you'll be glad you have these precious photos to remind you of your childhood." 

Okay, maybe I don't always say that.  It's usually more along the lines of, "You better smile like you mean it or that ipod touch is mine!" 

And you see?  That.  That little thing I'm currently using as a parenting weapon will change in a flash and chances are, I'll never remember it in a couple of years and he certainly won't. 

But maybe one day, he or Dracen will pull up the old, ancient archives of this blog, take a trip down memory lane, smile, laugh, and say something like,  "Oh, I had forgotten about that time Charlie let us pee on a fire for the first time!" or "Ha, I had forgotten about what a hard time we used to give Mom at the grocery store and how much we used to fight! Wow, we really put her through the ringer, didn't we?  I don't know how she did it!" 

I didn't expect all of this when I started blogging.  I didn't expect much of anything so what I've gotten and what I continue to get from it, can only be described as an unexpected blessing and if you ask me, that is always the very best kind. :) 



This post was inspired by Mama Kat's writer's workshop prompt: What were you blogging about last year at this time? What has changed?  and Jenny Matlock's Alphabe-Thursday, The Letter U.