Jealous Mommy

That little green monster has gotten the best of most all of us at some point in our lives.  It seems to be at its worst when we are younger though it can pop back up and bite us at anytime throughout the years.


It popped back up and bit me hard about 12 years ago.  I had not expected it, didn't see it coming, and had a hard time keeping it under lock and key.  


I never really saw myself being a stay at home mom...just didn't think I was cut out for it or that I had it in me.  That all changed the minute I became a mom and suddenly there wasn't anything I wanted more than to spend my days doting over my little bundle of joy.  

The end of my pregnancy was  a little rough on me so I had to take two of my twelve weeks leave of absence before he was born, which gave me ten weeks with him until I had to return to work.  


The jealousy began during those ten weeks. We would be at some gathering or function and I'd see one of them coming....the baby snatchers!  You know the ones I'm talking about, right?  Those ladies (usually older) who can sniff out an infant a mile away and they waste no time at all coming in for the steal.   


I could feel my heart start to race, sweat begin to bead up on the back of my neck and the anxiety rise up in the middle of my stomach....  


Oh God, here she comes.  She's gonna try to snatch him from me and he's gonna cry and then she's gonna start running down the list of reasons why he's crying, reasons that have nothing to do with the fact that she just snatched him from his mama! 


 ..."Oh, he must be hungry!" ...or..."Is he wet?"...."Ohh, bless his little heart, he's just sleepy!"  


"NO! HE'S CRYING BECAUSE YOU SNATCHED HIM FROM ME!  HE WANTS ME, ME, ME, YOU...YOU....BABY SNATCHER, YOU!  GIVE HIM BACK!  GIVE HIM BACK, NOW! HE'S MY BABY... MINE!" 


Okay, so I never actually said that but it took every ounce of niceness I could dig out of myself to refrain from it.  Horrible, right? I mean these were all nice people who just loved babies and only wanted to cop a little feel of that soft, chubby baby fat and breathe in that sweet, intoxicating baby smell that had long since left their lives.  
But I couldn't help it.  I didn't like it.  He was my baby and I wanted him all to myself, darn it!  Why couldn't they see that? Understand that?


There were certain people I didn't feel this rage towards, like his momaws and popaws and his daddy, Darin.  That is, until I had to return to work and Darin, since he got off work earlier, would usually pick him up from the babysitter's house. 


He learned very quickly that not having my Baby Boy Devin waiting on me when I got home from work was a very, very, BAD idea!  The first time I came home and they weren't there, I nearly blew a fuse and when he did get home with him and try to explain that he had only taken him to visit his grandmother or to show him off to some friends, I became even more furious!  


Clearly, I had a problem.  


When he was five months old, I quit my job and bought into my longtime friend's florist and began taking him to work with me every day.  (He was a very easygoing baby which made this doable)  And wouldn't you know it? 


That little green monster just up and left the building.


Fast forward four years to the Dracenator's baby days and there wasn't a green monster to be found within a 200 mile radius.  I was staying home, he was fussy, cranky and never slept.  O, Baby snatcher, Baby snatcher!  Wherefore art thou, baby snatcher?! 


The post was written for Mama Kat's writer's workshop prompt, "Write about a time when jealousy got the best of you." and Jenny Matlock's Alphabe-Thursday.