And it wasn't me. Or Charlie.
So I'll leave it up to you to guess who it was. But both my offspring behave in a similar psycho manner whilst contemplating splinter removal. Seriously y'all, I do not kid. You would have thought we were talking about possible toe or foot amputation.
It was stressful. And Craaaazy!!
"I'VE GOT A SPLINTER!!! A SPLINTER!!! WAAAHHH!!! RIGHT THERE!!! LOOK!!! NO! DON'T TOUCH IT! IT HURTS!! IT HURTS BAAADDD!!!!!"
"Well, I can see it sticking out of your finger. This is an easy one. All we need to do is pull it right outta there with some tweezers."
"NOOO!!! NO!! DON'T TOUCH ME! IT HURTS!! I CAN DO IT! I CAN GET IT OUT!!!"
"Okay, fine. Then do it. Pull it out and get it over with."
"I CAN'T DO IT! HELP!! IT HURTS!!!"
"Look, I have the tweezers. Come over here and let one of us pull it out!"
"BUT YOU'LL HURT ME WORSE! WAAAHHH!!! TAKE ME TO THE HOSPITAL AND HAVE THEM PUT ME TO SLEEP TO GET IT OUT!!!"
"What tha? Boy, have you lost your mind?! It's a SPLINTER!"
And this went on for a good 40 to 45 minutes before we finally had to team up on him. Charlie held him down while I yanked it out with tweezers. I feared the neighbors were going to call the police and report us for child abuse.
Because not only was he screaming like we were beating him with wet noodles, Li'l Bit Darling the Nervous Nellie wiener dog was having a chaos-induced barking fit.
Fun, fun times.
And now I must play fair and throw my own self under the crazy train with a confession.
I know who they got this behavior from. And it did not come from their daddy's side. .
But let's keep this on the down low because having them know that their mama was the world's biggest drama queen when it came to scraped knees and splinter removal will not help my cause the next time one of them is facing it.
My babysitter, Mrs. White, used to have to threaten to call "the ambulance" on me every time I got hurt at her house which would usually shut me up, or at least turn down my scream volume. Because unlike the boy I just told the story about, there were few things in life that scared me more than the threat of going to the ER.
My mother was pretty used to my behavior so she just rolled with it and let me carry on until I was done with my woe is me fit. But the first time I got hurt around my stepmother, Lynne (who my dad married when I was 6), I think I nearly scared the living daylights out of her.
One weekend when I was at my dad and Lynne's house, her daughter (my sister, Stephanye) and I were outside playing when I scraped up a toe or something and immediately went into one of my Omg, I'm bleeding to death fits.
She and my dad came running to find me hysterical and sobbing, "I... hurt...my...foot...and....it's...bleeeding!!!" When they asked me to show it to them, I dramatically kicked my foot out into the air while squealing and shrieking only to realize I had shown them the wrong dang foot.
"No, No, Wait! That's...the...WRONG...FOOT! It's...the other one! It's... THIS... ONE!!! Waahhh!!!"
I think I'm probably lucky I lived to see the light of the following day after that one.
For the most part, I have outgrown that crazy drama train but I still come close to an inner anxiety attack any time a doctor mentions drawing blood from my veins or when someone, and by someone I mean Charlie, puts a knife in the dishwasher sharp side up and I jab my hand into it while loading more dishes....
And I'm not going to give you all the details here but let's just say, he's never made that mistake again.
So what about you? Do you ever recognize any of your own less than endearing qualities in your kids? Go on, you can tell me.
My son is the exact same way when it comes to splinters, but I can't blame, because he got that from me! :) And let's see, the other not so good quality he seems to be getting from me is his tendency to worry. My husband is trying SO hard to make sure he doesn't turn out like me, in that regard :) I don't blame him. I don't want a mini worrier on my hands either!
ReplyDeleteI am SOOO not a drama queen about that stuff. But the other night my child came out WAILING - she had poked her finger on something and an infinitessimal drop of blood was coming out and she WAILED "Mama I don't want to DIIIIEEEEE!" It was classic and hard not to laugh at her. :P
ReplyDeleteOK, I seriously snorted Pepsi when I read that you had thrown the wrong foot up in the air!! Looking back now, as a parent, that has got to be SO funny!! My kids are drama queens as well, and yeah, I totally know why :)
ReplyDeleteJDaniel reveals parts of me he has observed everyday. It is very enlightening.
ReplyDeleteJDaniel seems to be taking the fast track to aging too.
You described my middle child perfectly! Drama QUEEN! I'm sure it comes from her dad's side ;)
ReplyDeleteOh definitely, but if it ever gets too over the top, I remind everyone about their aunt (their dad's sister) who used to hold her breath until she passed out if she didn't get her way... even at school. 'Nough Said!
ReplyDeleteBefore you even got half way through you son's story I was thinking about the "incident" at my house. I know there were more than that, but that's the one I always remember. It's one of my favorite child hood memories. I actually remember mama trying to get your foot into the tub so she could clean it off. I probably just stood there and rolled my eyes. Now...AK gets that personality trait from me.
ReplyDeleteWhen Sam was @ 5, he went on our deck barefooted. He got a huge splinter under his big toe nail. It was probably as thick as a tooth pick. I promise! I couldn't get it out. His daddy was at work on a Saturday. It was beginning to get red and swollen. So, I took him to Urgent Care. The physician there was great. He told us that he could get it out but Sam had to be perfectly still. So, I did what any tough parent would do.... I called my brother and his wife to come to Urgent Care...to calm me down. They gave Sam about 4 shots around his big toe. Then the doctor was able to get the huge splinter out. Sam was still as could be but he screamed his head off. If the doctor had not been able to get it, he would have had to go the the ER where they would have partially sedated him.
I guess he gets his toughness from me:D
Oh, yes, I can remember the anxiety associated with splinter removal! And loose-tooth removal. But even more so, I remember my grandmother asking me to remove a splinter from her finger, and being terrified that I'd hurt her!
ReplyDeleteHa! I don't understand their reasoning that taking it out is going to hurt them more. Makes no sense at all. My kids are so like that.
ReplyDeleteThey get it from Hubs. He is a freaker-outer when it comes to blood or pain. He's such a girl. Ha
My friend actually took her daughter to the doctor when she had a splinter. They laughed at her and sent her home.
ReplyDelete