My Advice to New Mothers...

1. Try to resist the overwhelming urge to compare your child to others his/her age.   The rate they grow and develop is not a race or a competition. It simply has a whole lot to do with their genes and individuality and very little to do with your parenting skills.

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2. Don't beat yourself up if you have days where you do nothing more than feed, diaper and hold your baby.  That baby will be in middle school before you can blink twice so cherish every precious moment that you possibly can.

3. Take a timeout for yourself at least once a week, even if you just sit for two or three hours and read a book in peace. It's not healthy for you or your baby(ies) if you are completely worn down and unable to function as a normal human being. You may hate leaving them especially if they cry when you do, but trust me, they will stop as soon as you're out the door and the smile they will give you upon your return will do wonders for your mom ego and overall well-being. Morning preschools and mommy's morning out programs are a wonderful thing and I highly recommend finding you a good one if you are a stay home mom. 

4. Read and sing to them even if they aren't yet old enough to understand a word you are saying.  It's important and comforting for them to hear your voice often.  

5. Try to find yourself a support group of some sort.  It always helps to have others to talk to who are going through the same things you are.  

6. You are not a bad person if breastfeeding does not work out for you and your baby and I promise your baby will still grow and thrive on formula and will not be traumatized by this in any way.  Breastfeeding my first was pure torture and I only managed to tough it out for 5 weeks but my second who came along 4 years later was a completely different story and I ended up breastfeeding him for 19 months.  What can I say?  He is my "spirited" child and it was the only thing that put him to sleep for a little while!  Both my boys were and are equally healthy though.  

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7. Don't feel the need to bundle them up in fleece and ear muffs when the temperature drops to 60 degrees.  The truth is, if you are not cold they probably aren't either and they will let you know if they are.  Same goes for being hot. I found out pretty quickly that my oldest is hot-natured and he did not appreciate me putting him to bed in a fleece onesie when the temperature inside the house was 74 degrees.  He's 12 now and still doesn't like to wear jackets and has an aversion to all things fleece.  

8. Don't stress out over things like showing up some place with a spit up spot on your shirt or some applesauce in your hair.  Most people understand and sympathize, either because they too have been there or simply because they are human and can plainly see that motherhood is a beautiful thing. 

9. Try not to forget who you are.  I mean sure, you're not ever going to be the same now that you are a mother.  It changes you, as it should, but there is a such thing as becoming so absorbed and engrossed in your role as a mother that you forget about the things that make you, well...you.  Always be true to yourself.  You are a mother now but you are also still a unique, one of a kind person with your own individual style and personality and it's very important and vital that you don't lose sight of her.  

10. Trust your mother's intuition.  Always. If something a doctor is telling you just feels wrong all the way to your bones, get a second opinion and stand your ground.

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11. Don't worry so much.  Oh, who am I kidding?  I've been a mother for over twelve years now and I still haven't figured out how to stop doing this.  So I'll say this instead... It's okay for you to not be a perfect mother and it's okay for your child to not be a perfect child.  Nobody is.  Nobody.  I don't care how much it may seem that way from your side of the fence. You're going to make mistakes and that's okay.  Learn from them, forgive yourself and carry on.


12. Try not to wish these days away by constantly looking forward to the next step...crawling, walking, no more bottles, no more diapers... Because in just a few years you will inevitably find yourself in a tearful state of bittersweet nostalgia while poring through all those old baby photos, fondling those baby shoes you can't believe they ever fit into and wondering when exactly it was that your babies stopped being babies... 

**This post is part of Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop.  Click here to read about that time I locked myself out of the house twice in the same day!