Beans and Wieners

The wieners had checkups Wednesday and I'm thinking I may need to look into some canine health insurance because that bill was so fat I had a hard time lifting it off the counter.  And both the little plaque builders need teeth cleanings again which we scheduled for next Wednesday and which will probably set me back another small fortune.  Brisco Darling has put on another pound since last year which may not sound like much to me or you but it's a pretty big  deal when you're only eight inches tall. 


I blamed it on his fondness for dumpster diving.  I came home one day last week to find that he had gotten the cabinet open and somehow managed to pull the trash can from the very back where I'd shoved it and although he did not succeed at getting it all the way out, he got it tilted enough so that he could shred the bag with his plaque builders and get his fill on garbage...again!  


And since the dog doc did ask, I also told on Mr. Darling for occasionally doing his business in certain places throughout our residence although he is allowed to go out in the big backyard, fenced in just for him, anytime his little wiener heart desires and while I do believe he is the main culprit I also have my suspicions that his female sidekick may be involved in this unacceptable behavior from time to time as well.


The vet tech., who has had Dachshunds in her life before, was shaking her head like she understood and felt my pain completely. Anyone who's had any experience with a wiener dog is fully aware of the stubbornness each and every one of them possesses.  


But the doc is convinced that the ol' bell trick on the door will rehabilitate them in no time flat.  He suggested I hang a bell near the door they go out and ring it each time we open it for them.  They will supposedly be ringing that bell themselves within a few days in order to notify us that they need to take care of some business. He has clearly never lived with a Dachshund.  


But hey, I'll willing to try anything once.  Okay, that's not true at all.  I could make a pretty lengthy list of things I never plan to try but this? I will try. The wieners, however, may be another story entirely.


And speaking of another story... I am still getting along just fine as a vegetarian though I did buy the boys cheeseburgers at Cookout the other day.  I won't force anyone into becoming a vegetarian but I am convinced that I can learn to cook some kick arse meatless dishes that will not leave them shouting, "Where's the beef?".   I have  recipes and I'm not afraid to use them.


I used one of them to make some pretty tasty black bean burgers last night.  Dracen came over to see them in the frying pan and said, "I thought you weren't eating that!"  He totally thought it was meat so score one for the vegetarians.  After I told him what it was he said, "But that's meat."  Huh? "Beans are pork", he proclaimed.  


"What are they teaching you kids in school these days? Beans are NOT pork!  They grow outside in a garden."   


"Ohhh yeah!  That's right", he said, shaking his head.  Somehow I'm guessing this little confusion was brought about by good ol' pork and beans though that thought didn't enter my mind until just this second.   


Anyway, those porkless, meatless, bean burgers will go down as a vegetarian success story because while the boys did say that they weren't their favorite, they did like them okay. And coming from those two?  That is huge. 


Score two!  


And somehow I have the feeling that making a tasty, meatless burger is going to prove to be a whole lot easier than training a couple of wiener dogs to ring a bell...


I'm just sayin'.  


Happy Friday, Y'all!