Friday Fragments...

~When I was tucking him in Wednesday night, Dracen proclaimed... (as he sighed dramatically) "I'm exaggerated!"  

"You're what?" I asked.  


(as he sighed again and fought back a grin while placing his hand to his forehead in swooning fashion) "I'm EXAGGERATED and I'm imagining things."   


"Dracen, I think the word you are looking for is exhausted.".

***

~Devin wanted to fix a frozen pizza the other day so I told him to turn the oven on to 400 degrees. Our stove is gas and is on the other side of the kitchen from the oven so I was perplexed to see him go over to the stove in order to turn it on. 

I swear I think he does stuff like that in order to get out of me asking him to do anything at all productive.  In the end, his excuse was that he just simply had a brain fart.  

***

~The guinea pigs, Junebug and Maxie, got a new crib this week because I condemned the old one. It came via UPS Tuesday afternoon and I was really dreading getting it out and putting it together because it's kinda big and just like the old one that I put together so I knew it was a bit of a pain.  

To my gracious surprise, Dracen took it upon himself to get it out of the box and put it together himself.  I think I am now beginning to reap some of the benefits of having a spirited, energetic child. Though he did leave the kitchen upside down, sticky and covered in fruit after making himself a smoothie yesterday afternoon.  I'm going to have to take the curtains down and wash them. Seriously.

***

~Schools were out here Monday and Tuesday for teacher workdays and come Monday afternoon I was just about at my wit's end with the fighting and arguing.  We were planning to go out to eat at Red Lobster when Charlie got home and I was already dressed and wearing my black boots.

Devin had locked himself in the bathroom to escape the retaliation Dracen was about to throw on him and Dracen was beating on the door.  I got so mad that I kicked (yes, kicked!) the bathroom door with my black boots. (I blame PMS)  

I immediately felt like a fool so I gained control of myself and promptly began spraying and wiping the marks off.  Thank God there was no permanent damage.  

***

~As we were driving down the street the other day Dracen saw a man walking and said, "I think that man may be a hobo."  And then, "You know how people have jobs and then they have the things they like to do on the side? Well, when I grow up, my thing on the side is going to be helping homeless people find homes."


And my heart grew three sizes that day.  

***

~Report cards came home for both boys yesterday.  Dracen made  A Honor Roll.  His brother made all sorts of grades.  And I'll just leave it at that. But I will say this...I did not yell.  Also, I found this article most helpful.

***

~Charlie's mom sent him this joke the other day and warned him not to try it at home. I would advise the same.  To him and to every other man in the free world...

A husband had just finished reading a new book entitled, "You Can Be THE Man of Your House"...

Finding new courage that he never knew he had, he stormed into the kitchen and announced to his wife,

"From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is the 'Law.' You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, bring it to me, and when I am done eating my meal, you will clear the dishes and serve me a scrumptious dessert. After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me and we will make love the way I want! Afterwards, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You will put on soothing music, wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe. You will massage my feet and hands to relieve any last bit of tension so that I can sleep like a baby. Then tomorrow, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?"

The wife replied, "The funeral director would be my first guess...

Unless I have your ass cremated."

Happy Friday, Y'all!

*You can see more Friday Fragments or link up your own at Half-Past Kissin' Time!