My Reverse Bucket List...10 Things I Never Want to Do

1. Skydive. Why anyone in their right mind would jump from a perfectly normal functioning aircraft is completely beyond my comprehension.  If you ever hear me say, "I think I'll try skydiving" then please insist on getting my head checked immediately and without delay because there will be a one hundred percent chance that something has gone seriously wrong with it. 

 2. Be on a reality show. No way, no how could I proceed as normal with a camera crew all up in my grill.  


3. Get a tattoo. I would never, under any circumstance, agree to have a needle touch my flesh for any length of time unless it was a medical necessity.  Well, maybe to smooth out a wrinkle...At almost 41, I can't promise I won't ever go there but allowing someone to mark me for life with ink and a needle is not in my foreseeable future.


4. Climb Mount Everest. Or Mount Kilimanjaro. Or any other mountain known to God, man, animal or alien. 


5. Bungee jump. Having a stretchy cord tied around my waist, hurling myself off a cliff and being jerked and oscillated until my teeth and brains rattle will not ever be found in my How to Have a Good Time book.  

6. Dive with sharks. I watched in horror as Ben and three of his lady friends did this on The Bachelor this week.  I sat on the couch shaking my head and shouting "Y'ALL ARE CRAZY! HE'S NOT EVEN THAT CUTE!" at the t.v.  I'll be darned if I'd offer myself up as shark bait to catch a man.  Hellz to the NO!  


7. Go storm chasing. I saw Twister.  And The Wizard of Oz. No thank you.


8. Run a marathon.  I know it's what all the cool kids are doing these days but I've finally accepted the fact that running and I just flat out do not get along and there is no shame in my game about it. I will dance, I will Zumba, I will ride a bike, I will do jumping jacks, I will hula hoop, I will jump on a trampoline, I will swim, I will even speed walk. But if you ever see me running?  Call 911 because someone or something is trying to kill me.  


9. Have a Tarantula as a pet. One word, six syllables...A-rach-no-pho-bi-a.   I nearly jumped out of a car going 65 mph on an interstate when I spotted a spider the size of my thumbnail creeping its way across the windshield. Had I been in the driver's seat there would have likely been more lives than the spider's lost that day.  

10. Get up close and personal with my fear of public speaking. Matter of fact, pass me that parachute because I'd rather go skydiving.  


*This post inspired by the Writer's Workshop.