Kick Some Grass Over It

Wh-wh-what-why it there a light in my face?  What's going on? Where AM I? ...

Dracen's voice broke through,snapping me out of my sleep stupor: "Moommm!"  

Then Charlie's voice: "Did he just throw up?"  

Me: "Whut tha? Ohh snnnap!" 

Sh*t just got real!

I flung the covers off  to see Dracen flopping down in the dog's bed beside our bed (it was vacant because Brisco Darling has taken to sleeping with us again) and realized that he had indeed just thrown up all over the bedroom floor. I looked at the clock: 2:30 a.m. Lord, help me! 

He had also thrown up all over his quilt.  Charlie took care of putting that in the washer while I, much to my chagrin, cleaned up the floor.  I have never dealt well with that sort of thing and it has been a very long time since anyone in our family had a stomach bug so I was out of practice.  But I manged to trudge through it. 

I then begged him to please, please try and make it to the bathroom or use the lined bucket I gave him after Charlie plucked him off the couch from which he flopped and refused to move and carried him back to his bed.  

I was surprised to be awakened by my alarm at 6:15 since I had fully expected several more episodes.  We all got lucky.  Though I knew there was no way I was sending him to school so I finally got up after hitting snooze four times to see if Devin was going to be able to make it.  He came in from a football game last night with a sore throat and congestion.  

Nope.  Still sick.  So I called the whole day off and went back to bed.  And have been feeling all day like someone pulled my energy plug and let it all seep out. Maybe I'm fighting something myself or maybe all that organizing of some of my Pinterest boards last night just took it out of me.  That's probably it...  

Pinterest overload.  

Where was I going with this post?  I have no idea.  But since I'm on the subject of Pinterest now, here are a few of my favorite recent pins...

Source

How true is this?  It doesn't happen to me all that often but I have occasionally found myself on the second page of search results. And if you end up on the third page, forget it.  It ain't happenin'. 

Article

I knew most of these already but anyone who has a dog should read this.  Most of us know that chocolate is toxic to dogs but did you know that grapes/raisins are too? As well as a few other things that may surprise you.  

Source

I just thought this was very wise, insightful and true.  

Source

Ha!  I never knew how many things one could make with pumpkin before my Pinterest days.  Last night during my organizing of boards, I moved some things around and devoted an entire board to pumpkin recipes...

Source

A baby chipmunk.  Just because OMG, how cute is that?

Source

I found this absolutely hysterical because it is 100% me.  

Just ask Charlie.  He tried it once.  

Source

Yes!

Source

Like bright lights in your eyes and throw up on your floor at 2:30 in the morning.  

Happy Weekend, Y'all!

10 Great Things About Life in a Small Town

I still haven't gotten my first Starbucks' Pumpkin Spice Latte fix yet this season.  But I will.  Eventually.  It's just that when you live in a small town like I do, it's not as simple as just stopping by on the way back from taking the kids to school in the mornings or even making a special trip when the urge hits.  Because I'd have to make a special trip that would end up taking forty minutes, round trip. 

And the few times I've been near the Starbucks since they've been out this year, it was the middle of the afternoon and well over 80 degrees.  Now I love my pumpkin-laced caffeine high as much as the next person but I cannot get my piping hot latte on in those conditions.     

Living in a small town/rural area does have its disadvantages but it is all I have ever known.  I start feeling claustrophobic if I spend too much time in a metropolitan area.  Small town/country life is the only choice for me.  

And here are 10 reasons why...

1. Traffic jams are pretty much non-existent.  Our idea of rush hour traffic is that it may possibly take seven minutes to get across town due to school traffic, as opposed to the four or five minutes it would take normally, at other times of the day. 

2. No noise pollution. Unless you count that which my boys produce. But they do have to go to school five days a week. So there's that.   

3. Short wait at the DMV.  I've heard horror stories about people waiting for hours to get their driver's licenses renewed in the city.  That has never happened to me here.  There are usually no more than five cars in the parking lot.  But the personalities of the staff are, unfortunately, just as lacking.  Siri has more warmth. 

4. The DNC nor the RNC will ever be held here. Amen. 

5. No need to worry about forgetting your business. Just ask anybody.  They all know it...some probably even better than you do.  Okay, so maybe this one isn't always a good thing. But it does help keep you honest.  

6. If you only caught the tail end of the latest scoop in town, you have the person on speed dial who will not only know all the details but will gladly spill them all to you.  I am almost always the last one to know (due to the whole introverted thing). A gossiper I am typically not but I still like to know even if I keep it to myself because I am human, after all.    

7. Everybody waves when passing each other on the back roads,whether we know each other or not. Seriously, if you aren't a waver then small town/country living is not for you.  Kidding.  But only a little.

8. Air pollution is minimal.  Unless somebody is burning leaves which I really hate.  The smell of burning leaves, I mean. But mostly the air is clean.  Or as clean as it gets these days.   

9. Well water. I lived within the town limits for thirteen years before moving just outside them.  Within the town limits, most are on city water (that comes from the nearest city) just as I did, and I could not stand the taste of it without a filter. Here we have a well and I could (and often do) drink that water all day long. No filter needed. 

The septic tank business on the other hand is another story entirely. You can read about that fiasco in a post I wrote last year, if you feel so led.  But since this post is about the positive, I won't go there again today.  

10. Everybody dies famous.  For real.  

  

Sister Christian? Was Not a Nun

Wake up Maggie, I think I've got something to say to you.  It's late September and I really should be back at school... 

I can't get Rod Stewart's voice singing those lyrics out of my head and it has happened this time every year for as long as I can remember. I got curious about the meaning behind the song the other day, wondering if Maggie May was a real person. Turns out the song was about a woman Rod was, umm..."seeing" when he was sixteen.  But her real name wasn't Maggie May.   

I have no idea why I am sharing that useless bit of trivia with y'all but there it is, just in case you ever wondered.  

But since we're on the subject now, another song I always wondered about is Sister Christian by Night Ranger.  It has forever been one of those songs I belt out in the car but really have no clue what I'm really singing or what on earth the song is even about.  I always thought it said, "You Motorhead!  What's your price for Christ?" and the only thing I could figure was that it was about a nun who dreamed of being a mechanic or that someone was hitting the pipe or dropping acid when they wrote it.  Or all of the above.  

I was wrong on all counts. Thank God. 

The reason I now know this is because a few weeks back I was watching Bachelor Pad.  (Go ahead and judge me if you want but in my defense there was nothing else on.  Really.) And the remaining three couples, none of whom had any singing experience, had to perform the song in front of a live audience and the members of Night Ranger themselves, who then judged them on their performances.  

Why?  I have no clue but it got me curious about those insane mystery lyrics once more so Charlie googled it for me and found it was actually written by the drummer, about his little sister, Christy. Sort of a sweet story really...

He had gone home to visit his family to realize that his little sister wasn't really so little anymore and he was worried about her getting into trouble or doing something she'd regret when she and her friends went out cruising at night in an attempt to pick up boys...Apparently they called this motoring/motorin'.  And here I'd been belting out MOTORHEAD all these years. 

Anyway, he was inspired to write this song that he went back and sang for the other band members and they really liked it but they couldn't figure out what the h*ll he was singing about either.  They thought he was saying... Sister Christian. 

And so it was... is...Sister Christian. 

And now you (too) know the rest of the story...


You're welcome,

At least I wasn't in my pajamas

I've had a few (okay, a lot of) embarrassing moments in my life.  For one thing, I'm not that hard to embarrass.  I've always envied those people who are not easily embarrassed. You know the ones (my husband is one of them) who just possess this magical ability to not only laugh but crack jokes on their own behalf and make everyone else laugh too when they suddenly find themselves in the midst of a moment that would make me want to vanish into thin air, leaving nothing but a puff of smoke behind. 

You see I can do it later, after the fact...like right now.  Now, when I'm out of the humiliating situation and back here away from all the curious eyes upon me.  It is now that I begin to think of other things I could have said, like how embarrassed I was for one.  Why don't I have the ability to just come right out and say, "I am so embarrassed right now" when I've just accidentally done something really stupid? 

I suspect you are now beginning to wonder where in the world I'm going with this so here's the story...

If I've said it once I've said it a hundred thousand times...I struggle with early mornings.  No surprise there.  It takes every ounce of willpower in my five foot four body to get my tail out of that bed each morning before the sun rises, make sure both boys get up and dressed, pack a lunch, make breakfast, brush my teeth, run a comb real quick through my hair and throw on some clothes before heading out the door at 7:15 ish a.m. 

If I'm real lucky I'll be able to get a few sips of coffee in me before time to go and this morning I did.  Not enough to wake me up, apparently, but I did get a few sips of the Folgers before we left so I cannot blame this on complete lack of caffeine.  

First we drop Dracen off at the elementary school since the tardy bell rings there at 7:35, a fact that still pisses me off each time I see it in writing. Next we head over to the middle school and get in line since the doors there do not even open until 7:35.  And  the schools are less than a mile apart.  Genius, I know. 

So this morning I pulled in behind a brand new shiny Volvo in my five year old paid for Saturn and began fishing around in my purse for my iPhone...

Okay let me stop right here for a minute to say, in my defense, I am not one of those people who texts and drives or whips out my phone at inappropriate times.  Because I am so not.  I admittedly have a bit of an addiction to my phone (just like everyone else) but I know where the boundaries lie and give it my all to stay within them.  

But Devin puts his ear buds in as soon as we get in the car each morning so while we are waiting in line I take that opportunity to check emails and sometimes facebook...

Well, this morning we had just pulled in (behind the brand new shiny Volvo) that I didn't even pay any attention to at the time, and began fishing around in my purse for my iPhone when suddenly there is a bang out of nowhere, Devin is shouting, "MOM!!!" and I look up to see that I have indeed rolled right into the brand new shiny black (I notice the color now) Volvo. So I scream. 

Yes, literally.  I screamed.  Then I got my wits about me...okay, not really...but, enough to know to put the car in Reverse and get off the Volvo's bumper.  I then procceded to get out of the car which pained me deeply...the getting out of the car part. 

Because first of all, there were a lot of cars in that line and as sure as my name is Diane, I knew darn well there was at least one, if not fifteen, people in that line who knew me. I'm just thankful to God above that I had put on a bra and some actual clothes because I came this close to going out in my pajama top and hoodie this morning.  

But still...I certainly was not dressed for success.  Nope.  I threw on a pair of sweats (the kind that only come down to the calves) a long sleeve gray t-shirt and the nearest shoes I could find, which just so happened to be a pair of flats. 

And not just any ol'  pair of flats either. These bad boys have sequins.  Because everybody knows that sequined flats are the perfect way to add a little flair and interest to your "I just rolled outta bed" look.  

The lady got out of the brand new shiny black Volvo, threw up her hands and said, "Brand New Car...Brand.New.Car!" 

And it was in that precise moment that I wanted to die. 

Okay, so I'm being melodramatic.  I didn't really want to die but I did very much want to click the heels of my sparkly shoes in an attempt to vanish into that puff of smoke.

Or at the least just come up with something better to say than, "I'm sorry...I'm so, so, sooo sorry!" over and over and over, followed by, "Well, I don't see any marks." and "I never do things like this."

She did not see any marks either but still wanted my insurance information because she said she knew her husband would ask if she got it so after letting Devin out (who I am quite sure was praying really hard that he'd too go Poof...bless his heart) I was forced to pull over in a parking space and get out so ALL the people in the very long line of cars that were behind us could get a good look at me, just in case they hadn't already, and give her a piece of paper on which I had shakily scribbled down my name, phone number, and insurance information.  

Now please make me feel better by telling me about one of your most embarrassing moments.  

I will love you forever, 

Welcome To My Home

It's Monday Listicles time once again! This week Stasha has asked us to make a list of 10 things in our homes...

We moved into this house in April of 2010 and I have put a great deal of my time into making it feel like home. My previous house was one I called home for thirteen years and was quite a bit smaller so for the first several months in this house, we could literally hear our voices echo throughout the rooms and down the hallway.

When I began furnishing it, I reminded myself time and time again of a quote by William Morris that I have always loved...

"Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful."

Best advice ever. It is where we spend so much of our time which is why I am a firm believer that there should be no other place on earth able to evoke such a feeling of comfort and sense of peace than that of our own home.

Welcome to mine.

 Here you will find...

1. Dogs. Coming home to a house without a dog is not something I'm willing to do.  It is my personal opinion that a home just isn't complete without one.  Or two.  Or in my case, three.  

2. A little touch of whimsy, here and there. 

3. Books. I do have a Kindle now but I still love my books.  Sometimes I buy old ones at antique stores simply because I love the look and smell of them.  I feel about books much the way I feel about dogs. No home is complete without them. 

Books are not made for furniture, but there is nothing else that so beautifully furnishes a house. ~Henry Ward Beecher

  
4. Messes...Laundry that needs doing, beds that weren't made, projects awaiting completion, dirty dishes in the sink and some places they shouldn't be, disorganized closets, way too many junk drawers, a sticky hand print (just the right size of a nine year old boy's) on the window I just yesterday cleaned...

  
5. Reminders. Like these...

6. Humor. Because I honestly do not know how anyone gets through life without it. 

7. Lots of framed photos. The ones of the boys when they were still tiny and sweet are especially helpful to see when one of them is being an exceptional pain in the arse. 

  
8. The color RED. I am a lover of color, in general, but red just flat out makes me happy which is why it is used as an accent color throughout many of the rooms in my house but the half bath/laundry room is the reddest room of all.  And also where I hang these old vintage framed floral prints I find at the different antique and thrift shops I love to visit. 

9. All the things boys are made of... Dirty socks all over the house, potato chips crumbs on the floor, towels on the bathroom floor, BB guns, fireworks, mud-stained ball pants, cleats, and all the many shades of blue...

   

 10. My heart.  Here, you will find my heart.  

Dracen bought a house so I'm eating pickles

Yesterday when Charlie got home I told him I haven't been able to use my laptop all day.  He asked if something happened to it.  "Yeah, Dracen.  Dracen happened to it."  The kid is now obsessed with playing Wizard 101. I'm going to need to stage an intervention soon and I don't expect it to be pretty.  

In fact, it will probably be easier to just go ahead and buy another laptop since last night before bed he was able to buy a new house. "Mom, Mom, I need your help. I finally got this house I've been wanting and I need your help on deciding where the master bedroom should be. And where should I put the bed?  And..."  

This explains why he was interrogating Charlie and me over the price we paid for this house a couple of nights ago.  We never answer questions like that for fear our answers may one day be used against us in a court of law.  

But seriously, the laptop withdrawals I've been experiencing are not pretty. I ate pickles last night out of boredom.  I never eat pickles.  But the jar said they only had 5 calories per pickle so I figured that was better than throwing down on that box of football-shaped Little Debbie brownies. 

He was already on and signed in yesterday afternoon before I ever got in the door from the fourth grade field trip to the gem mine we took yesterday.  We all hunted gems in the red mud, the kids fished for gems in the freezing creek, and we fought the insane amounts of swarming yellow jackets to get more than two bites out of our lunches.

In a genius move, I opened up my container of caramel dip.  I do not recommend ever breaking out apple slices and caramel dip when you are being ambushed by yellow jackets. Me: 2 dips.  Yellow jackets: 562.  Fun times. 

As far as I know though, no kids, miraculously, were stung. And neither was I.  And we did find our share of pretty gems...

I went on that same field trip with Devin four years ago, when he was in the fourth grade and if my memory serves me correctly, that was the last one he ever allowed me to attend.  At least Dracen doesn't seem to be embarrassed by the mere presence of me just yet but I know the day is coming.  It is just a matter of time. 

It is also just a matter of time before he bounces back in here and pleads his case for this laptop again since today is a teacher workday and he is home all.day.long.  

Pass me the pickles...

Thank You...for real this time

Since I had such a good time writing those thank you cards a couple of weeks ago, I decided to take on Mama Kat's prompt again this week by writing some more, minus the sarcasm.  

3.)In juxtaposition to the thank you (sarcastic) cards we wrote last week. Write real thank you cards to the things that REALLY do save our lives every day. (inspired by Multiple Mama)

Thank you...Starbucks' Pumpkin Spice Latte, for returning to my world.  I haven't had you yet this year since I must drive a hundred miles to get to the nearest Starbucks (okay, fifteen...fifteen miles) and the day I was near it was 85 degrees out but I will get there,  I promise. Nobody loves you better.  Please wait for me.  

Source

Thank you...ALTERNA Bamboo Smooth Kendi Oil, for working your magic mojo on my frizzy head and finally putting my crazy hair in its place for the first time in...well, for the.first.time! Where have you been all my life?  You complete me.  

Sephora

Thank you...NBC, for bringing back Parenthood, The Voice (First season I've watched it.  Sorry, did not know what I was missing), and those two new ones, Go On with Matthew Perry and The New Normal with Ellen Barkin...hysterical.  I haven't made up my mind about Revolution yet. I'll have to get back with you on that one.  

Source

Thank you...Neosporin, The gash on the top of my right foot that I sustained in that Pinning accident last week is healing up nicely, thanks to you and your colleague, the Band-Aid.

Thank you...Dogshaming, for making me laugh until I cry.  Now every time one of my three get into trouble, I threaten to submit the likes of these...

Lucky Dog

Brisco (Big Boy) and Charlene (Li'l Bit) Darling

Thank you...Blogging, for always being here for me.  You make life's challenges and mishaps go down a little bit easier because in the midst of any sh*t storm I find myself caught up in, that little voice always pops up in my head and says, "Well, at least you're gonna have a good one for the blog tomorrow."  

Thank you...Dear Readers, This place would be awfully lonely without you!  

And of course,

Thank you...Mama Kat, for churning out these writing prompts week after week after week. You rock.