Yeah, I said that.

4.) Write a list of 10 things you have said to your kids that other moms might not say.

I don't know what other moms may or may not have caught themselves saying to their kids but I suspect most all of us have heard things shooting out of our mouths from time to time that make us cringe.  I was going to be the cool parent. You know, the one who somehow managed the perfect balancing act of disciplining calmly, without yelling, while still maintaining a tight, kindred friendship with my kids.  Yeah well, I don't have to tell you how that worked out for me.  I can, in retrospect, laugh and pity that poor little naive pre-mom-of-two-extremely-strong-willed-boys person I used to be. Bless her heart.  She didn't have a clue what she was in for.  

So here I will attempt to recall a list of ten crazy things I've, at one time or another, heard come out of my very own mouth...

1. "How the *bleep* did these flood lights get shot out?"  (And I was worried about them shooting their eyes out with that thing...Yes, yes they did shoot out the flood lights with a BB gun once.  On purpose.)  

2."What is that smell? It smells like...like...Preparation H in here!"  

3. "Why do I smell pee?  Have y'all been peeing off the porch again?!"  (Thank the good Lord, this one seems to be behind us!)

4. "Do not draw circles around your nipples with a Sharpie marker ever again. Or your brother's either!"  

Source

5. "Y'all need to get out of my sight real quick 'cause I've only got one nerve left and I'm fixin' to LOSE IT!" 

6. "Y'all are gonna be real sorry when you put me in the hospital with a nervous breakdown." 

7.  "It smells like vinegar in here!  DRAAACEN!  Have you put an egg in vinegar AGAIN?!" (I cannot tell you how many times he has done this.  I did it once as a kid. Once was not enough for Dracen.  Just this week my kitchen got that funk again.  I finally found the egg in the vinegar ~apple cider this time...worst smell ever!~ in a wineglass, covered in a dishtowel in the corner behind the paper towel holder.)   

8. "Oh, you're gonna run away?  I better go down to the basement and get you a suitcase then. Where do you plan to stay?  And do you have a job lined up?"  

Source

9. "No, I will NOT come look at the size of your turd!  Flush the toilet NOW.  That's disgusting!"

10. "Because I said so, that's why!" (the very one I swore...SWORE I'd never, ever say)