Currently

Currently I'm...

Trying to decide on a topic to write about for 31 days in October. Myquillyn Smith at The Nesting Place has been doing this challenge for the past few years and although I was really tempted last year, ended up backing out. But this year I thought it may just give me the boost/inspiration I need to get back into blogging.

Reading Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman's Soul by John and Stasi Eldredge .

Enjoying the cooler weather. I just wish the sun would come out.

Going to the gym more. I'm sore in places I forgot I had.

Looking forward to a three day weekend since tomorrow is a teacher workday.

Feeling stuffed up and fatigued. Allergies or cold? Maybe both.

Loving the pair of Chuck Taylor Converse I bought a few weeks ago. Devin told me I should wear them all the time because "you look really good in them".  I was nearly stunned speechless because that boy simply does not dish out compliments. 

Missing my boys being little. Dracen had his first two games of the fall baseball season this week and both nights there was a tee ball game taking place on the field behind us. We turned to look several times because the crowd was cheering and clapping. They looked so tiny out there running the bases and everyone is just having fun without the pressure of competition. Sigh...I get nostalgic.

Marveling at the young men they are becoming.  I now have Devin carry/open things for me on a weekly basis and Dracen has developed a fondness for several kindergarteners since (as a 6th grader and BMOC) he has been helping out with them in the afternoons at car-riders. He calls them his "homies".

Enjoying the return of fall t.v. shows...The Voice, Dancing With the Stars, The Blacklist...and Parenthood and Scandal tonight! 

Drinking Pumpkin Spice flavored K-cups I found at Target yesterday. 

Laughing at the funny stuff I've been pinning to my Now That's Funny board...

If Jesus tried to feed the 5000 today.

Believing in everyday magic...still. Four years ago (Sept 21st), on the one year anniversary of my Dixie Dog's death, I wrote this post about the coins I kept finding all over the house that day, each dated 1995 (the year she was born, came into my life). One, a dime, was actually stuck to my arm when I woke up that morning. Well, this year, on Monday (the day after the five year anniversary) I went back to the bedroom to get ready to take the boys to school and there in my place in the bed was a dime. My heart began to beat fast as I picked it up and slowly turned it over to check the date. Yep...1995. I smiled all day.  The magic/signs from heaven/messages from God are always there. We just have to remember to pay attention.

The more things change...

Last Monday I experienced the most surreal moment in which I handed over the keys to my firstborn, got into the passenger's seat of my very own vehicle, said a heartfelt prayer, firmly gripped the door handle and held my breath as he proceeded to drive me and his little brother home from the DMV.  

I never anticipated the level of strength it would take for me to hand him those keys. We walked out of the DMV where I had to call him a party pooper in order to get him to pause briefly for a pic.  When we approached the car, I went to get into the driver's seat at which he looked absolutely appalled and asked, "What? You mean you're not going to let me drive?" 

"Er, you mean now", I muttered. "As in you want to drive right now?" He gave me that well-no-duh-Sherlock-what-did-you-expect look that all teenagers are experts at giving.  "Well o-okay. Okay...yeah, sure. I guess so", I managed and then quickly grabbed my phone to text Charlie what was about to go down and to request prayer. And lots of it. 

I think I held my breath the entire way home and my knuckles were white for three hours even though he drove perfectly fine. Oh yes, the times they are a-changin'. 

In other news, Dracen is in the sixth grade which means it's his (and our) last year of elementary school. I'll curl up in a ball and cry for days if I dwell on this little fact too long. 

He has the same homeroom/math teacher that Devin had for 6th grade. On the second day of school she told him that he had talked more in two days than his brother had talked in an entire school year. I literally LOL'd because I have no doubt whatsoever that this is 100 percent true. The boy likes to talk, a fact that has landed him in hot water on more than one occasion.

I've not yet received any notes or phone calls from any teachers this year (KNOCK ON WOOD) but I glanced at my phone (that was on silent) just before relaxation time at the end of my yoga class midday today when I saw a missed call that looked like it could very well have been from one of the schools but no voicemail. Let's just say I didn't do much in the way of relaxing. 

As soon as I could get out of there when class ended, I called the number back to get the assistant principal of the elementary school. When I asked if anyone had called, he said that it was probably the principal and to hold on a minute. I braced myself for what was coming. But she was just calling to see if he'd had an immunization required for sixth grade. I knew about the shot but had been putting it off for as long as possible because any time that child has had any kind of needle pierce his flesh, several adult medical personnel have been required in order to hold him down. 

I do not kid. 

She informed me that if he doesn't have it by next Tuesday, she will have to suspend him so I made him an appointment for tomorrow after school and am now in the process of taking applications for any volunteers available to assist me. 

The appointment was not yet made when I picked Devin up from school today since I was waiting on the doctor's office to call me back and he practically begged me to let him go to it. "For moral support", he said. Right. And I just fell off the turnip truck. I reminded him that the last time Dracen got shots (before starting kindergarten) he sat in the corner and laughed like a hyena the entire time. He claims he doesn't remember that and that things have changed and he's different now.

He forgets I live with them. Apparently.

Because the times?

They haven't changed that much...

To my sweet friend in heaven

Dearest Friend,

I'd give anything right now if I had visited with you again because you were always on my mind, and in my thoughts and in my prayers. You just seemed so very tired, yet being the gracious hostess and friend you always were, felt that you needed to keep up the conversation. I wanted to let you rest (told myself we were in the way and that you were in far more capable hands) but now I'd give anything for just one more visit or at least a phone call to heaven. How awesome would that be if we could all be granted a phone call or a special postage-stamp-to-heaven when someone we love enters. Could you speak to someone about that when you get a chance? ;)

You were an extrovert, a talker, a put-everyone-right-at-ease-with-your-down-to-earth-I-never-meet-a-stranger personality which I think is one of the reasons I was so drawn to you from the very beginning.  As you know, I've never been the most verbal person (an introvert to the core) and although I told you I loved you the last time I saw you, there was so much left unsaid...

Thank You, for starters. 

Thank you for walking into our shop (and into my life) that day, nearly fifteen years ago, with your always vibrant, welcoming smile and personality to match. 

Thank you for not laughing when I called you in a panic a couple of days later (even though you weren't supposed to start until the next week) asking (okay practically begging) you to come NOW because Dana was at home sick with a migraine, the van was in the shop and I was in so far over my head that I couldn't even see the surface, must less swim to it. 

Thank you for making me feel like a ginormous boulder had been lifted from my shoulders when you showed up within minutes in your little Mitsubishi that we wasted no time loading down with funeral orders, vases of flowers and even a giant bouquet of balloons that completely blocked your view out of the back. 

And thank you for not running for the hills after that! 

Thank you for befriending little Devin, taking him under your wing and entertaining him in the shop and eventually outside of it, coming to his (and later Dracen's too) birthday parties and baseball games and football practices, and for treating him as if he were your very own grandson. He remembers. 

Thank you for being there through my darkest hours of grief, for all those times you showed up at my door to not only check in on us but to take care of us. 

Thank you for straightening up my house,  doing my laundry, playing board games with the boys and me (I'll never forget that night of the never-ending game of Chutes and Ladders), bringing me fresh eggs from your chickens (sometimes deviled...yum) and those delicious strawberry pies you made. 

But mostly, thank you for just being there.

Thank you for riding over an hour away with me that night to the animal hospital to visit my very sick little Dachshund, Dexter (who died while we were there), even though you'd been crying all day after having your beloved cat, Buffy, put to sleep that very morning. 

Thank you for coming back the next day with your sweet Dave and helping me bury him underneath that big tree in my yard.  

Thank you for supporting me when I ventured back out into the terrifying world of dating, staying with the boys and laughing (or sometimes crying) with me when I returned home to tell you all about my dates. 

Thank you for all those hours we spent talking on the phone about this, that, nothing and everything.  

And thank you for being there and so genuinely happy for me on the day I got married again. 

Thank you for praying for and talking to Devin back when we were going through that rough patch with him, even though you yourself were fighting cancer. He's making me a proud mama these days. 

Thank you for being the kind of person and Christian that I was proud, blessed and honored to call my friend. It was evident at your funeral (not that I didn't already suspect it) that I and my family weren't the only ones blessed and made to feel special by you. You really made your rounds and I am certain you left this world a better place for having been in it.

Thank you for the million and one memories. I will cherish and hold them (and you) close to my heart always. 

You were truly a Godsend to me. 

Until we meet again, my sweet friend...

Until me meet again,